So How Do You Like Your Eggs?
by fieryzephyr
Summary: HPDM A new course is being taught at Hogwarts’ this year by a new,whacked-out professor. It’s Harry and the gang’s final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy ass assi
1. The Land of Backstory

So How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Summary: A new course is being taught at Hogwarts' this year by a new, slightly whacked-out professor. It's Harry and the gang's final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy assignments, new love interests, odd happenings and definitely some laughs. (oh, and little to no angst! whew) HP/DM (RW/HG and more)

Rating: PG-13/R

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 1 The Land of Back-story

Hermione playfully nipped at his lip. She began to move lower down his neck, nibbling his ear. Her hands tugged at his belt, undoing it slowly. Next to her, Ron was kissing his way down the chest he had recently exposed, flicking a tongue near his nipple. He undid the last shirt button and discarded the article just as Hermione finished unzipping the pants and pulling them down. Both looked at the person in front of them with growing hunger in their eyes. Their desire was strong, mixed with a hint of wickedness. They knew this would be considered breaking the rules, but when had they listened to rules before? They reached for the last remaining article, his undershorts. Both of their faces took on identical looks of lust as they tugged them down…

"Shit! What the fuck was that?" screamed Harry as he shot out of dreamland and into reality. His heart was racing and he was pale with shock. A shudder quickly passed through him.

"What was what?" asked Neville sleepily, sticking his head out of his bed curtains.

"Um…nothing…just a dream," he quickly answered.

He was not about to explain what _kind_ of dream. There was _no_ way he even wanted to think about it. Hermione and Ron! They were his best friends, might as well be family. You do not dream about doing _that_ with your family. He had absolutely no desire to take a leaf out of Fred and George's book.

"Was it about You-Know-Who?" Ron asked while in the midst of getting dressed.

"Um…no…it was worse…," he muttered as he avoided looking at Ron only partially clothed.

Ron shrugged and continued with the matter of finding a suitable shirt.

"Oy, what could be worse?" Seamus piped up from the other side of the room.

"Nothing, nevermind…I'll just be heading down to breakfast." He quickly threw on some clothes and ran towards the door.

"Hey, wait up, mate. Maybe we should talk to Dumble-"

Harry slammed the door, scrambling to the portrait to avoid further questioning.

* * *

For Harry, the summer had been uneventful to say the least. He had been forced to sit around his uncle's house for the majority of it, only being able to see Hermione and Ron for the last two weeks of the holiday. The Order had continued to keep him in the dark, ignoring his queries on Voldemort, leaving him to wonder what exactly he was up to.

Now Harry was back at Hogwarts' for his seventh and final year. Still unsure about the fate of Voldemort, he hadn't decided what he would do once he actually got into the real world. He figured everything would work itself out, eventually.

'Oh well, I know it won't include threesomes with my best friends,' he thought and then shuddered. As he rounded the corner to the Great Hall, lost in his thoughts, he ran headlong into Draco Malfoy.

"Hey, watch it!" Harry yelled, though he'd been the one not paying attention.

But strangely the only response he received from the Slytherin was a half-hearted sneer.

'Sheesh, I wonder what his deal is. No smart-ass remarks from the death eater prince? Maybe he's finally gone off the deep-end,' he thought, sniggering to himself.

* * *

Surprisingly, Harry wasn't that far from the truth. Draco was very close to going off the deep-end because, contrary to Harry, he had had a very eventful summer.

It had all started when Lord Voldemort decided he wanted to become even stronger. Some of the Death Eaters wondered how much stronger he was capable of becoming, but none were brave enough to voice their opinions. When Draco learned of the plan, he thought it was rather foolish and arrogant. He understood power was great but come on, Lord Voldemort was already the strongest wizard besides Dumbledore, and Harry Potter wasn't really _that_ powerful, just lucky. But Draco wasn't about to say anything against the Dark Lord either.

Soon after Voldemort announced his idea, the Death Eaters set out to find the ingredients necessary to complete the spell and potion he would need to accomplish the task. After spending half of the holiday collecting seemingly useless items like moonshade, fuite sprigs and hair from a horned-rat, they were finally ready for the big event.

At the weekly Death Eater meeting, Voldemort had explained that in order to complete the strengthening transformation he would need three others to perform the spell with. Wormtail, being the ever-faithful (and ass-kissing) servant, was chosen first. Of course, Lucius Malfoy jumped at this chance. Anything evil was A-ok in his book. The third to be selected was Bellatrix Lestrange, since she also had a taste for anything extremely evil and was willing to surrender herself to the Dark Lord.

Now, luckily for the Order their informant Professor Snape was keeping them up to date on Voldemort's scheme. At least, he was until Voldemort had chosen his three. Now they were the only ones receiving any information and they had no qualms gloating about it. The only thing he had managed to find out was the date that the transformation was planned to take place: July 31, which coincidentally just happened to be Harry Potter's 17th birthday.

Of course once they knew the date, the Order began making preparations. But for what? They didn't know exactly. When the date rolled around, the Order was as ready as it could be. Lookouts were placed at key spots in the wizarding community, including Hogwarts', Gringotts, the Malfoy residence, the Lestrange residence and of course Harry Potter's.

The two assigned to Number 4 Privet Drive were none other than Mad-Eye Moody and Tonks. Tonight, her hair was a long curly green, feeling it would blend in better than the bright pink she'd had earlier. Moody, being no more paranoid than usual, was dressed in simple robes and carrying his wand close.

At around 1am, Tonks had conjured herself a chair. She wasn't one for "constant vigilance" like Moody and decided that sitting down wouldn't hurt anyone. By 2, she was already dozing. Suddenly she heard a noise like glass breaking.

'Eh, probably just some drunk muggle,' she thought. 'It's not like You-Know-Who would be stupid enough to show up at Potter's…I hope.'

Simultaneously, Moody was near the back of the house keeping a more watchful eye. He assumed the sound had been made by Tonks, since she was not the most graceful of people. Tonks resettled herself, and went back to dozing, and Moody continued his watch, swiveling his magic eye in its socket.

But then another noise, this one like a trashcan crashing, was heard.

"Come here, Moody, something's out there!" Tonks called as she peered through the dark for Moody.

"What did you do now?" he growled.

She gave him an exasperated look. "Look in the alley across the street."

"I don't see anything…wait what is that exactly?"

Out of the dark stumbled a group of four figures; one female and the rest male, dressed rather flamboyantly. They seemed to be acting more than a bit off.

"Eh…what do you reckon?" asked Tonks.

"I'm not sure. That one there looks like the leader and he seems to be carrying some sort of…man-purse?" he answered bewildered.

"Maybe we should alert the Order- wait, is that who I think that is?" The long silver hair paired with grey-blue eyes was unmistakable.

"Right, we need to call someone. Now." was Moody's response.

_

* * *

Fieryzephyr: well there you have it, chapter 1! You would not believe the amount of time it took to get this posted (but I loved doing it), especially with my lazy beta taking forever to edit and then still missing a bunch of errors._

_BetaEmily:_ hey! I take offense to that!

_Fieryzephyr_: well, maybe you should edit better and not watch The Matrix while you're doing it?

_Puppet that has been christened "Dumbledore":_ This is not groovy at all! I have no lines in chapter 1! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

_Fieryzephyr:_ um…Chapter 2 will be up very soon…less than 1 week.

_BetaEmily:_ 1 week my ass.

_Fieryzephyr:_ hmmm… I don't think I've even seen your story posted yet. Oh right, that cause it's not even written yet!

_BetaEmily:_ drat, foiled again!

_Dumbledore Puppet:_ _grumblebettergetsomelinesgrumble_

**Please Read and Review!**


	2. Breakfast News

So How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Summary: A new course is being taught at Hogwarts' this year by a new, slightly whacked-out professor. It's Harry and the gang's final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy assignments, new love interests, odd happenings and definitely some laughs. (oh, and little to no angst! whew) HP/DM (RW/HG and more)

Rating: PG-13/R

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 2: Breakfast News

In the Great Hall, Harry was just sitting down to breakfast. As he reached for the toast, Seamus joined him and resumed the questioning.

"So what really was up this morning, Harry?" he said, suggestively while raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing, really, just some crazy dreams. I probably should stop eating so many chocolate frogs right before bed."

"Oh, ok…," he responded slightly unconvinced.

Soon after, Hermione and Ron were seen walking in and making a beeline for Harry.

"You know, Harry," Hermione prodded while adding sugar to her tea. "If you're dreaming about You-Know-Who again you really should speak with Dumbledore."

But before he could deny anything, Dumbledore stood up.

'Darn, just when I was about to explain to my two best friends that I had a perverted dream about them. Way to ruin my plans! I had a really good explanation too..._not_.' Harry thought sarcastically.

"Good morning, good morning! I trust you all slept well for your first night at Hogwarts'," said Dumbledore, glancing at Harry and winking slightly.

'Did he just _wink_ at me?' thought Harry as Hermione cast him a sideways look. Nothing anyone did ever went unnoticed by her.

"I have some news that I must bring to your attention," he continued. "This year we will be adding a new course to the 5th year curriculum. Those students already in there 6th and 7th years will be expected to take the new course before their graduation as well."

"This course is being add in response to an Educational Decree put out by the Ministry. Recently, they had been studying the muggle schooling system and-"

With this remark, the Great Hall broke into a frenzy. Slytherins immediately began commenting on "the muggle-loving fool" and criticizing "anything related to filthy muggles and mudbloods." Other students tried guessing what the class might be.

Lavender squealed about how she hoped it related to fashion design, which caused Hermione to roll her eyes. A number of Ravenclaws hoped that it might be a math. "Maybe Calculus, which I've heard is interesting."

Another Slytherin loudly commented to Blaise saying "Maybe we can experiment on the lousy muggles." Which led to much sniggering by the rest of his house.

"Now, now as I was saying the course will be based on the Personal, Social, and Health Education System in muggle schools. The name of the course is "The Magic of Our Developing Mind and Body."

Again, everyone began to chatter at the announcement.

"Ahem, the professor teaching this course is new to Hogwarts' this semester. So without further waffling from myself, let me introduce Professor Amacktherm."

"Thank you Headmaster," said Professor Amacktherm as she stood. She was about medium in height, but was rather skinny. Her hair was cropped in a blond pixie cut and had numerous rings, a silver band on her thumb being the most prominent. Her hands began to move in an enthusiastic manner as she spoke.

"I am very proud to be your new Professor here at Hogwarts'. As you know, I've been put in place to teach some about adolescent development and how to cope with the changes everyone goes through. Also we will be discussing future choices involving occupations, marriage and family."

"Really," Hermione quipped to Ron and Harry, "you don't think it has anything to do with the increased promiscuity of this school? Students are already shagging like crazy by the time they're in 4th year! For God's sake we are _never_ supervised and we have tons of empty classrooms and cupboards all across the school that are quite shag-worthy…not that _I_ would know. I'm surprised someone didn't think to teach about this sort of thing sooner"

"Yeah, Hermione, you're right. You should have been more on top of things," responded Harry.

"You really are starting to fall behind on your institution improvements and school-wide mothering," Ron added. "What will people think?"

Both boys feigned looks of horror.

"Ha, ha very funny, but it is a good idea but a little late for our year I think," she said dismally, scanning her eyes around the hall. Across from her Dean Thomas was sitting in Seamus's lap feeding him orange slices. Not much farther away, Ginny was at the receiving end of a back massage from Neville. Two students at the Hufflepuff table were cuddling more than what was expected to be humanly possible. Other 7th years were freely snogging, many continuing to grope mercilessly though Professor Amacktherm's speech. She sighed and refocused her attention.

"So I hope we can all have a great year together, thank you," She concluded and took her seat.

The older students, those expected to take the new course, sat slightly perplexed by what this would mean. The course would be starting tomorrow and no one was quite sure what to make of it.

Harry, just as confused, glanced around the hall. His eyes fell on Draco Malfoy, who was sitting alone at the end of the Slytherin table, staring into space. He studied him, noticing his disheveled appearance. His hair was slightly askew and his robes weren't fastened correctly, very uncharacteristic from his usual immaculate appearance. Suddenly, Draco noticed the eyes on him. His grey eyes turned and pierced into the offender's. Harry quickly looked away and went back to his breakfast.

* * *

_Fieryzephyr: _ok theres chapter 2 in a week like i promised! hope you've enjoyed.

_Dumbledore Puppet: _finally, some lines. took you look enough.

_Beta Emily:_ hey at least you get freaking lines, all i get is this crap at the end. this is not showcasing my talent!

_Fieryzephyr: _yeah yeah, next chapter will be up in a week or so. :)

Please Read and Review!


	3. Congratulations!

So How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Summary: A new course is being taught at Hogwarts' this year by a new, slightly whacked-out professor. It's Harry and the gang's final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy assignments, new love interests, odd happenings and definitely some laughs. (oh, and little to no angst! whew) HP/DM (RW/HG and more)

Rating: PG-13/R

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 3: Congratulations!

The next day students began their new classes. To the annoyance of some and to the relief of everyone else, the first group of students to have Professor Amacktherm was the 7th year Slytherins and Gryffindors.

The class had just began and everyone was a bit wary as to what the course would entail. The classroom was setup in the normal manner, with the Professor's desk in the front and students set up in rows of desks that sat three. However, some off-putting posters and figures were displayed on the walls and shelves. Some depicted internal organs, while others listed the consequences of certain actions.

Professor Amacktherm moved to the front of the class (Hermione immediately got her note quill) and launched into a description of the course's agenda.

"Well, how are we all today? Well, I hope," gesturing something undistinguishable with her hands. "Because this is more of a 'catch-up course' for you 7th years I have decided to omit some of the material the younger students will be learning. Mostly because I believe many of you have had a more first hand experience than I could even give you," she said pointedly.

"Instead, we will be focusing on your future and what live will be like after Hogwarts' including marriage and starting a family of your own. Any questions so far?"

"Could this class be any more stupid?" Pansy retorted caustically.

The Slytherins all laughed and Hermione shot an annoyed look in her direction. She then turned to Harry and Ron who were both near falling asleep. She tried discreetly to wake them by nudging them with her foot but it had little affect. She decided to try a different approach and shoved them off of their seats.

They fell over in a clatter and stood up sheepishly. But once they'd both sat down they glared at Hermione, who looked back at them innocently. She then brought her attention back to Professor Amacktherm and tried not to look overly pleased with herself.

"I would like to began this year with a partner project."

In response she received groans and looks of irritation.

"Now, come on, I thought you'd enjoy that more than taking notes on my lectures."

This time she received no response.

"Alright, first thing we need to do is pair up, now wait, before you move there's a catch. The person you pair with must be a realistic choice that you would make in the future when deciding your mate. That means go with the person you are currently dating or would like to be, and don't forget to select the right sex! Come on! Hurry up, this isn't that hard!"

The students began to pair up, but nearly everyone kept their eyes on Harry. You see, no one was quite sure anymore which way he swung. Sure, he had liked Cho Chang but she'd really been the only person, guy or girl, that anyone knew of. Unfortunately for the curious group, Harry didn't seem to be making a decision very quickly and had not asked any of them to be partners.

Eventually, partners began sitting back down. Ron was with Hermione, as they'd been dating for a year now. Dean and Seamus were together, they were another long-term couple. Many were surprised to find Neville paired with a girl, Parvati. Though, he'd been dating Ginny on and off, some were still skeptical that he was really in the closet. Ironically, someone no one had expected had come out, Millicent, who had paired with another Slytherin girl.

Soon most of the other Slytherins were paired as well. Pansy, however, was causing more of a disturbance than usual.

"Ew, no," she said rebuffing any student asking to be partners. "I'm going to be Draco's partner because he's the only one worthy of me. And where the _hell_ is he, exactly? I can't deal with these goody-goody Gryffindor mudbloods much longer."

The Gryffindors all rolled their eyes and went back to "discreetly" spying on Harry.

Professor Amacktherm decided she should try to rectify the situation with Pansy.

"Come on Pansy, dear, you need to have a partner," she said as she tried to lure her toward a partner-less Slytherin boy.

"NO. I am _Draco's_ partner," she said testily.

"Listen, he is not in class, and therefore you can not be his partner," she answered trying to remain calm, assigning the poor boy to Pansy, who sat fuming.

The Professor then turned to Harry, who was also without a partner. Unfortunately, he was the only one.

"Well, Mr. Potter, it seems that we have a bit of a problem. I supposed you could join forces with Mrs. Granger and Mr. Weasly…"

Remembering his dream from the other night, Harry paled.

"Um…don't you think-"

But he was cut off by the door swinging open. In walked Draco, but without his usual arrogance.

"Sorry, I…uh…got lost," Draco managed to mutter.

"Ok, but don't make it a habit Mr. Malfoy. Luckily, you're just in time to be paired with Mr. Potter here."

Draco raised an eyebrow but sat down next to Harry anyway. Ron, however, could not contain himself.

"How can you even _think_ about pairing him with that lowlife ferret! He's worth less than…than…dirt! He's only going to try and kill Harry! Are you mad, woman?"

The rest of the Gryffindors murmured in agreement about Harry's welfare as Hermione tried to restrain her partner, hissing "Don't yell at the _Professor!"_

"Excuse me, but who is in charge here?

"Yeah, but…you said it had to be a realistic choice!" he said grasping for anything to save Harry.

Harry looked up from where he was seated next to his partner.

"And who said it wasn't, Ron?" asked Harry a bit tersely.

The class let out a collective gasp, including Draco who looked like he had swallowed his tongue.

"But come on, mate, you would have told me if you were…if…but…" Ron mover from rambling to gaping as he watched Harry turn to Draco to explain what he'd missed.

"Well, now that that's settled I can explain the project. First let me congratulate you because you have all become the proud parents of a new baby!"

* * *

_fieryzephyr:_ok guys, heres the deal i decided to update today, which is earlier than i would have normally have because i'm going away for 4 days. im not sure how this will affect next weeks update. hopefully i'll be able to write all of ch. 4 read and beta-ed (bcuz beta emily is going with me) before i get back. if thats the case then all i have to do is type it...if not well...

_beta emily:_ aw come on, its supposed to be a vacation. sulks

_dumbledore puppet:_ hey! at least u get to go somewhere! grumbleall i get is a hand shoved up my-

_fieryzephyr: _ANYway, cheak my website for more info.

_beta emily: _you spelled check wrong.

_fieryzephyr:_ yeah well its late..and im tired...

_beta emily: _so fix it biatch!

_fieryzephyr: ..._check

_beta emily: _see i am good for something!

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**


	4. All Before Lunch

So How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Summary: A new course is being taught at Hogwarts' this year by a new, slightly whacked-out professor. It's Harry and the gang's final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy assignments, new love interests, odd happenings and definitely some laughs. (oh, and little to no angst! whew) HP/DM (RW/HG and more)

Rating: PG-13/R

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 4: All Before Lunch

The next day was Saturday and Harry had woken up early to go out flying. Last night's dinner had been unpleasant, to say the least. Everyone, including the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs (who had only _heard_ the news), was wondering what this new professor had in store for them, but more than that they were curious about Harry's agreement to work with the person to whom most referred to as "slytherin scum."

So to avoid any further gossip, Harry had escaped early leaving a dorm full of still sleeping Gryffindors.

Sometime later, Ron awoke and having found Harry's bed empty, went in search of someone else to spend his Saturday with. Pulling on his sweater, he entered into the mostly empty common room and found Hermione doing what she did best, sticking her nose in a book.

Clearing his throat rather loudly, "So…what are you doing today?"

Marking her spot in the heavy book, she looked up.

"Studying the reproductive system of as many magical things as I can. I'm entertaining the idea that perhaps magical creatures function differently than non-magical creatures. I'm up to newts at the moment. Care to join?"

Ron paled slightly and started to edge toward the door.

"Oh, Ronald! I'm only joking! I was only getting a head start on my potions homework."

"Oh…right." He said looking less putout, "It's just like that greasy git to give us work the second we return to Hogwart's! And on the uses of bile, none the less!"

"Yes, well perhaps if you started early like me and didn't dawdle like you manage to do every year…" she said as the last of the remaining Gryffindors in the room went down to breakfast.

"Now, don't start in on one of your lectures, besides, now that we're alone, I had something I wanted to ask you about. Do you think there's something wrong with Harry?"

"How do you mean?" the witch inquired.

Ron rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know. Just, don't you think it's a bit odd that he _willingly _let _Malfoy,_ of all people, be his partner? I mean, what was he thinking! He's been a right bastard to us for years and now they're…they're…"

Hermione raised a cynical eyebrow in response.

"I don't know what to call it!"

"Partners on a class assignment?" she said becoming exasperated. "I think you might be exaggerating a bit. They didn't even _choose _to be partners, it just worked out that way."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It just seems so weird how calm he seemed about the whole thing."

"How calm who felt about what whole thing?"

Both turned to see a wind blown Harry joining them in the common room.

Surprised by his sudden return, Ron stuttered that it was no one important while Hermione gave him a look saying I-can't-believe-that's-that-best-you-can-do.

Harry was confused by Ron's abrupt explanation but felt that perhaps he shouldn't or didn't want to get involved. So he decided the best thing to do would be to leave the two of them to whatever it was they were discussing and go to his room to change.

"Blimey, that was close," breathed out Ron as the door shut behind Harry.

Hermione took that opportunity to hit Ron on the arm, _twice._ "Gods, you are such an idiot!" and with that she hauled up her pile of textbooks and went back to her own dorm.

Ron sat down and contemplated what he should do now because homework was defiantly out of the question. His stomach rumbled.

'Ah, breakfast it is then!' he thought and headed downstairs.

* * *

Some floors below, Draco was trying to decide whether or not he wanted breakfast himself. Grabbing a silk button down and thinking that at least he should look superb even if he didn't feel that way, he walked toward his own common room. The others in his dorm had already made their way down (he tended to lie in on Saturdays).

When he entered, all eyes turned to him, something not out of the ordinary seeing as who he was. However, their eyes weren't adoring or fearful today. Instead some held a look of confusion, while others were filled with contempt. He realized perhaps skipping last night's dinner hadn't allowed them to cool off as much as he'd hoped.

"Yes?" he asked trying to pull off the Malfoy sneer best as possible.

"We were all just wondering," started Pansy, "what the hell you think you're doing working with some goody-goody Gryffindork?"

"We knew something strange was going on from the start of this term. You've been acting different, not quite your self. Don't try to deny it," Blaise continued as Draco tried to protest.

Pansy spoke, "None of us has yet decided what exactly your problem is this time, but until we do and as long as you continue to associate with that loser Potter…"

"_Associate_ with Potter? I was _assigned _to him! I can not believe how utterly ridiculous you are all behaving! You call your selves Slytherins-"

"Yes, yes we do and that is why we are choosing not to be seen with a supposedly fellow Slytherin who lowers himself to the level of a Gryffindor, _especially_ one who has been acting off since returning to school. Who knows what or who has made you change but, well, what are we supposed to think?" stated Blaise.

"Fine! Think what you will but you are surely mistaken," he remarked coldly, turning on his heel and heading out of the common room.

'Am I really acting that differently? Well anyone is bound to change a little after…' No, he didn't want to think about the bizarre summer he had had. Plus, he had other things on his mind, like the fact that he was paired with Potter for a school project. How did he expect to pass the class with that oaf making every blunder possible?

And why did Potter agree to be my partner? I'm sure had he known it would somehow involve a child he wouldn't have…but he did say that Professor Amacktherm had mentioned the pairing had to be realistic. WAIT, what did that mean? Potter felt he, himself, Draco Malfoy, was a realistic candidate for fatherhood? And with fatherhood obviously meant matrimony so did that mean Potter could possible want to _marry_ him? No, no I must be reading too much into this. Potter was the only one left when I got there. He probably didn't want to be my partner but just had no other choice. Yeah, that must be it.'

So with his self-denial tightly in place, Draco walked into the great hall in time to grab the last remaining piece of toast and a cup of tea before heading out for a walk around the grounds and some more dwelling.

* * *

Fieryzephyr: YAY! an update! i know its not great but...im already working on chapter five! woot!and its gonna have some more of the humor i wanted in this story and it should have some harry/draco interaction.

Beta Emily: YES! I love hot h/d action!

Fieryzephyr: sorry, but i said _interaction. _but don't worry it's coming ;)

Beta Emily: (pouts)

Fieryzephyr: don't worry you'll be the first to read it! Oh and kudos and a gold star to Beta Emily who beta-ed this chapter at warp speed!

Beta Emily: (beams) So kiss my super beta ass!

Dumbledore puppet: WHAT ABOUT ME! WHY DOES NO ONE CARE? I AM THE FREAKIN' HEADMASTER OF THIS SCHOOL AND I DONT EVEN HAVE (is stuffed into draw)


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